At the moment, there are so many things that I need to decide upon. Most people say that you should ‘live for the moment,’ however, I have always been the type of person who likes to plan things in advance. I like structure, I am very meticulous in that way. I am always thinking about the future, which often means that I am oblivious and am not fully present in certain situations. I can rarely switch off my thoughts and feelings and simply enjoy myself, there’s always a little voice in the back of my head. I worry about the repercussions of my actions way too much and I care way too much about what others think of me.
It always upsets me when people ask me about what I do for a living or my life goals, because I honestly don’t have any. My belief is why set yourself
up to just be disappointed? I am a pessimist and I always expect the worst,
which I suppose is a bad trait to possess. But hey, you could also say that I’m
just realistic! I guess for now I just need to focus on what my strengths are
and then try to build a career around that. Maybe that will be something to do
with writing, seeing as I love blogging so much! In the mean time, I am in the
process of signing up for some voluntary work at my local ante-natal clinic as
a receptionist. This will be for a few hours a week for starters - just to get
me out of the house and to get myself back into a routine. Plus, I would love
to gain a little bit of self confidence.
