Anxiety

I hate it when people think that anxiety is not an illness. Anxiety isn't just when you get nervous before a test. It isn't when you feel a little shaky before an interview. It isn't when you get a few butterflies whilst talking to somebody you like. Anxiety prevents you from doing simple everyday tasks that others do not even bat an eyelash at. Fear takes over your entire body without any warning, and even though you know that your thoughts are irrational - you cannot shake the feeling that something terrible is going to happen.

New places, large crowds and situations where I cannot escape can all trigger absolute panic inside my mind. People often think that I use my anxiety as an excuse to get out of doing things, but this is not the case at all. I cannot pick and choose what triggers my anxiety, it is beyond my control and it upsets me when people do not believe me. Panic attacks are terrifying and they leave me feeling dizzy, weak and extremely nauseous. So why would I choose to have one on purpose?

These past few months have been horrible for me and my anxiety is worse than it has ever been. I am taking small steps but it’s not easy and it is extremely upsetting. I try to go out and slowly build up to doing things, yet I feel as if I am going nowhere. I am not improving. I feel like I am often a coward because I do not push myself, because I am just too afraid of failing and letting people down. I am so open about my anxiety and write about it a lot. This is because I feel like I should not be ashamed of it, and if one person on here reads my posts and realises that they are not alone - that will make me extremely happy.

Anxiety and depression are both serious mental illnesses and I believe that opening up is the first step of helping yourself. To read more information about anxiety and other mental health issues, I recommend that you check out the website 'Mind,' as it has a lot of great information!