The Next Chapter Of My Life

This year I have really struggled with picking a potential career and I came to a dead end. However, after seeing my good friend Sydney complete the same course this time last year, I decided to partake in a three day intensive nail course. I agree that on the surface this may seem like a rather superficial and shallow career to pursue, what with it being part of the health & beauty career field, but there is a method to my madness. I have simply decided to do something that I enjoy, as I am very girly and love all things beauty-related. I have been that person who has been stuck in a dead end job that made me miserable and I do not want to go back there again. 

Some people have said to me that they think that I can do better career wise because I was always quite bright and studious at school, however, I am a firm believer that we can all express our intelligence in different ways. We do not necessarily have to have fantastic, high-paid jobs to be deemed as intelligent. For instance, I like to write and I get great satisfaction out of that, which is why I have my own blog where I can express myself and showcase my passion for writing etc. So, in my eyes, I do not need to be some fancy lawyer or a doctor to be successful in life. 

The skills I learnt on the course include manicures, pedicures and acrylic nails. I also learnt a lot about nail preparation, hand & foot massage, as well as how to use all the relevant tools in my kit. This may not sound like a lot to some but the techniques and stages in completing this course were extremely complex. As you can imagine, I am not a fully fledged nail technician after a mere three days of education. It is going to take me a long time to perfect all of these skills and the only way I will be able to do that is by practicing on my friends and family (which I am sure they will enjoy as they will be getting it all for free to start with!)

Although it may not sound like a big deal to some, I am extremely proud of my achievement over the past three days. It actually took me a lot of guts and courage to go after something that I really wanted because I was so scared of doing so, due to the fact  that I do not have a lot of confidence in myself and I am incredibly scared of failing. The course was far from what I expected but in a good way. Now, I am really looking forward to building up my knowledge and potentially making this into a career for myself. I really feel like this is the next chapter for me. After being out of work for quite a while now, I finally feel like I am slowly but surely getting back on track. In a nutshell, I am just hoping that this course will enable me to start a fresh and to give me something to be proud of doing in during 2013.

The Future

At the moment, there are so many things that I need to decide upon. Most people say that you should ‘live for the moment,’ however, I have always been the type of person who likes to plan things in advance. I like structure, I am very meticulous in that way. I am always thinking about the future, which often means that I am oblivious and am not fully present in certain situations. I can rarely switch off my thoughts and feelings and simply enjoy myself, there’s always a little voice in the back of my head. I worry about the repercussions of my actions way too much and I care way too much about what others think of me.

It always upsets me when people ask me about what I do for a living or my life goals, because I honestly don’t have any. My belief is why set yourself up to just be disappointed? I am a pessimist and I always expect the worst, which I suppose is a bad trait to possess. But hey, you could also say that I’m just realistic! I guess for now I just need to focus on what my strengths are and then try to build a career around that. Maybe that will be something to do with writing, seeing as I love blogging so much! In the mean time, I am in the process of signing up for some voluntary work at my local ante-natal clinic as a receptionist. This will be for a few hours a week for starters - just to get me out of the house and to get myself back into a routine. Plus, I would love to gain a little bit of self confidence.

Overall, I know that I am still young and that I have plenty of time to figure out which path I want to take in life, but I just wish that I could make my mind up a little bit faster. I want to be able to do something that I am proud of and make other people proud of me too. Who knows what the future will bring, I just hope that I enjoy it! 

My Current Ambition

My current ambition, and my top priority at the moment, is to figure out what I want to do for the rest of my life. With everything that has been going on with me over the past year or so, I feel extremely lost and confused. I have no idea what I want to do in the future - especially job wise. I have no clue which career path I want to follow, as when I think of my strengths, I cannot really think of one thing that I am talented at in particular. I would love to do something based around writing, but I feel that I do not have the knowledge or determination to do so. One of my major problems is that I lack drive and I am often very lazy, which is a problem that I desperately need to fix. I think that my vocabulary and knowledge of the English language is quite limited, however, I really do not want to go back to studying. Back in the day, college made me miserable and I have never wanted to go to university, so have already ruled these options out. 

At times, I really wish I was more like my brother. He knew what he wanted to do even when he was in secondary school. His passion is sport and he has stuck with that for almost ten years now. I’m going off on a bit of a tangent here now, but I do compare myself to my brother an awful lot. He is confident, loud and self-assured; I am shy, quiet and insecure. I find it so bewildering how different we are, especially since we have been raised in the exact same way. I think I often see myself as the ‘failure’ of the family, and this includes all of my cousins also. All of them have had many achievements between them - honours at university, city jobs and amazing GCSE results to name a few. When I look back on what I have done, not one achievement springs to mind and this upsets me a great deal. I wish I could be proud of myself but I’m just not. Maybe that will change in the future, if I ever figure out what I want to do… I guess only time will tell.