The Future

At the moment, there are so many things that I need to decide upon. Most people say that you should ‘live for the moment,’ however, I have always been the type of person who likes to plan things in advance. I like structure, I am very meticulous in that way. I am always thinking about the future, which often means that I am oblivious and am not fully present in certain situations. I can rarely switch off my thoughts and feelings and simply enjoy myself, there’s always a little voice in the back of my head. I worry about the repercussions of my actions way too much and I care way too much about what others think of me.

It always upsets me when people ask me about what I do for a living or my life goals, because I honestly don’t have any. My belief is why set yourself up to just be disappointed? I am a pessimist and I always expect the worst, which I suppose is a bad trait to possess. But hey, you could also say that I’m just realistic! I guess for now I just need to focus on what my strengths are and then try to build a career around that. Maybe that will be something to do with writing, seeing as I love blogging so much! In the mean time, I am in the process of signing up for some voluntary work at my local ante-natal clinic as a receptionist. This will be for a few hours a week for starters - just to get me out of the house and to get myself back into a routine. Plus, I would love to gain a little bit of self confidence.

Overall, I know that I am still young and that I have plenty of time to figure out which path I want to take in life, but I just wish that I could make my mind up a little bit faster. I want to be able to do something that I am proud of and make other people proud of me too. Who knows what the future will bring, I just hope that I enjoy it! 

Creative Writing: Anorexia

Hi guys, today my post is going to be a little bit different to the usual topics I cover. Over the past year or so, I have developed a passion for writing – hence why I have since started up my blog. Throughout my school life, English was always my strongest subject yet I never really wanted to do anything with it (until now!) Dislcaimer: I do not mean to upset or offend anybody with my writing and I have tried to deal with this topic in an extremely sensitive manner.

A few months ago, I decided that I would like to create a written piece about anorexia. In this day in age, anorexia nervosa is a very sensitive subject and it affects millions of people worldwide. The reason that I am posting this piece is so that I can share my work with you but I also want to make more people aware about the effects that anorexia can have on many men and women all over the world.

“This girl was different to the one she previously knew. Spencer used to be the life and soul of the party, always the centre of attention. She was breathtakingly beautiful and she made everybody around her feel like they belonged, like they were a part of something. She was alive, but this soon changed.

Now, her face was pale and sallow. Her eyes like two piercing black holes, vacant yet undoubtedly still mysterious. Her hair was limp and tangled, falling dead straight from centre like a pair of curtains trying to hide her face. Her cheekbones were sharp and well-defined, rivalling those of a supermodel, yet she was far from beautiful.  Her lips were quivering with fear. She slowly untied her dressing gown and let it fall effortlessly to the floor, landing gracefully at her feet. Standing in her underwear, clinging to her shapeless hips, Spencer was vulnerable. She stared listlessly, examining her gaunt frame over and over again. Skeletal and frail, she was a ghost of her former self. How had she let it get this bad? She lifted up her hand and gently brushed it against her collar bone, it was so… prominent. She looked down at her concaved, hollow chest and then her ribs, counting them with ease using just her index finger.  She was overwhelmed with emotion, her stomach churning and convulsing. She was famished, yet she wouldn’t give in. Eating was not an option. Then, Spencer froze.  She was completely still, motionless. A darkness slowly crept over her, filling the void inside her head with despair. She was numb, lifeless like a corpse. She had a sudden realisation that she was lying to herself, her condition was getting worse. Every day, every hour, every minute. She realised that in order to get on the path to recovery, she first had to admit her illness to herself. Anorexia.”  

This is just a little snippet of the piece but I am hoping to expand on it in the near future. I am always open to constructive criticism, as I constantly want to improve my work and so I welcome any suggestions that any of you may have. To read more about anorexia nervosa and other eating disorders, please click here.

Thank you for reading!

Writing Inspiration

I have read quite a few books lately, seeing as I have a lot of spare time on my hands nowadays. Each of these books have made me feel like I can relate to them in some way - the emotions that they portray of young adults, and the way their minds work, is really quite amazing. Seeing as this is swiftly becoming a very popular book, I though that I would mention 'The Fault In Our Stars' by John Green. I really liked the way in which the author did not make the story into a typical cancer story, it had a lot more depth and underlying messages than that. I am really looking forward to reading some more of John Green's work soon, I think that I am going to read 'Looking For Alaska' next! 

I have been considering writing something of my own for a long time but I think I need to put in a lot of ground work before I can achieve this. I did very well at English at school, but as I dropped out of college after a mere two months, I feel like I may need to do some writing courses and broaden my horizons before I can consider writing my own material (to a good enough standard.) I need to read more classic books to widen my vocabulary and so on. Also, I am lacking inspiration. I have no idea as of yet of what I would want to write about, but I am hoping this will come in time. All I know for now is that maybe I would like to pursue creative writing a little further...