Sunday, 16 June 2013

The Future

At the moment, there are so many things that I need to decide upon. Most people say that you should ‘live for the moment,’ however, I have always been the type of person who likes to plan things in advance. I like structure, I am very meticulous in that way. I am always thinking about the future, which often means that I am oblivious and am not fully present in certain situations. I can rarely switch off my thoughts and feelings and simply enjoy myself, there’s always a little voice in the back of my head. I worry about the repercussions of my actions way too much and I care way too much about what others think of me.

It always upsets me when people ask me about what I do for a living or my life goals, because I honestly don’t have any. My belief is why set yourself up to just be disappointed? I am a pessimist and I always expect the worst, which I suppose is a bad trait to possess. But hey, you could also say that I’m just realistic! I guess for now I just need to focus on what my strengths are and then try to build a career around that. Maybe that will be something to do with writing, seeing as I love blogging so much! In the mean time, I am in the process of signing up for some voluntary work at my local ante-natal clinic as a receptionist. This will be for a few hours a week for starters - just to get me out of the house and to get myself back into a routine. Plus, I would love to gain a little bit of self confidence.

Overall, I know that I am still young and that I have plenty of time to figure out which path I want to take in life, but I just wish that I could make my mind up a little bit faster. I want to be able to do something that I am proud of and make other people proud of me too. Who knows what the future will bring, I just hope that I enjoy it! 

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